We often times hear people give accounts of their first dates experiences. We hear them say, “It was love at first sight,” or, “By the time our first date ended, I knew I just met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.”

And also we are far more likely to hear how the other person did something annoying, embarrassing, or otherwise sufficiently objectionable to immediately disqualify them from second-date thoughts.

The interesting thing is how people often qualify their description of the deal-breaking behavior: “It’s a shame because he seemed so nice,” or “I was really into her before that happened,” or “I was having a great time but that just ruined it for me.”

Indeed, it doesn’t take much to turn a good date bad. Luckily, the most common such mistakes are quite avoidable once you know what they are.

We have a lot to pay attention to on a date—what we think of the other person, how we’re coming across, whether they meet our expectations, whether we meet theirs—all of which is over and above our need to be present and engaged in the moment.

Having an idea ahead of time what behaviors to avoid can save you from the mistakes that can cost you a second date with someone you like.

Following are 15 of the most common mistakes I hear about in my practice. All are easy to correct. Some might seem petty and even unworthy of being grounds for disqualification, and perhaps they are, but people still cite them.

15 First Date Mistakes You Can Avoid

1. Being late

 It makes a terrible first impression and guarantees the other person starts the date annoyed. If it cannot be avoided, text with an apology and apologize again when you arrive.

2. Rudeness to service people

 Nothing screams entitlement, irritability or obnoxiousness more than being rude to a waiter. If the waiter is just that bad, tell your date what you find unacceptable about the service and that you plan to say something (but skip it if your date objects or seems uncomfortable).

3. Not asking questions

 Asking questions conveys engagement. If you do not ask your date questions, they will assume you’re not interested in them and will promptly lose interest in you. If you’re shy or unsure about what to ask, think of topics ahead of time.

4. Unnecessary medical history reveals

 No one wants to hear about your colonoscopy on a first date (or the second, third, or fourth). Save your medical history for later unless you’re showing up with your leg in a cast and there’s a good story behind it.

5. Talking about an ex

Unless you’re asked directly, avoid soliloquies about your ex. It will only make you look like you haven’t moved on. If you are asked, say the briefest, nicest thing you can and subtly and politely try to change the subject.

6. Poor table manners

Most of us know saliva breaks down food—we don’t need to see a demonstration of it. Watch your manners (even if you’re drinking). Speaking of which …

7. Overindulging

 A drink or two is fine, but make sure you stay present and in control. Getting sloppy or messy on a first date does not make a good impression unless your date is getting just as sloppy and messy as you are—which is not how most solid relationships begin.

8. Checking your phone

Checking your phone makes you come across as bored or distracted, neither of which is appealing to the person you’re with. If you must check your phone, apologize, explain why, and do it quickly—or just excuse yourself to the restroom and do it there.

9. Discussing your ideal partner 

The problem with this topic is it usually comes across as a “must have” or “dealbreaker” list most people cannot meet, even if you just intend it as “nice-to-have” guidelines. In other words, it likely turns off the other person rather than endearing them to you.

10. Giving a lecture or tirade about cherished beliefs

There’s a reason you shouldn’t discuss politics or religion on a first date: When you have strong opinions or beliefs, it’s easy to get a bit overexcited and go from participating in a discussion to monopolizing one. Be cautious when discussing anything about which you feel passionately (or angry) and make sure you’re not overwhelming the other person.

11. Using terms of endearment prematurely

 Even when the date is going amazingly well and you think the feeling is mutual, avoid calling your date babe or honey (unless you work in a diner and can’t shake the habit). It simply presumes too much familiarity too soon, and some people find it patronizing, despite the good intention.

12. Being too self-effacing

 There is absolutely no need to announce all your flaws on a first date. Modesty is appealing; low self-esteem less so. Making one self-effacing joke is fine but not a string of them. And the one you should not make is …

13. Joking about how bad you are at dating

Telling someone on a first date that you’re bad at dating is like the director coming out before the movie to announce that it stinks. It kills any interest or motivation the other person might have had.